Who are we?

It's Keiko, and I believe that this will be the final blog, because this will be the entry in which Kylan and I will talk about how we got to Constantinople in the first place, why we were sent there, and finally, who we actually are. A few months ago, I helped Kylan rid ourselves of Apion, her husband. He had become too possessive, so we gave him sole possession of a gleaming knife in his heart. The next night, I set Kylan up with this Muslim man, and they really hit it off, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I totally slept with him on that same night that she did. Anyway, we were leaving his room (because we had already realized that both of us had slept with him that night, and neither of us really cared. I guess like seven-hundred or eight-hundred years and tons of husbands made that not at all awkward) when we ran into this man on the street who took one look at us an muttered just audibly enough under his breath "Oh, it's the kangaroos." Now, I knew for a fact that there were not kangaroos anywhere in the Abbasid Caliphate or in Baghdad, so I realized that the only way that this man could have recognized us as kangaroos (because, of course, we looked normal to everyone else to my knowledge) was if he had been involved in placing us here. So, Kylan and I approached him and demanded that he explain himself. He begrudgingly told us to follow him, and we did so obligingly. I curiously asked him for his name, and he obviously responded in Arabic, and he said that his name was الطبيب, which loosely translates to "The Doctor" or something. He led us into some boxy sort of room and explained that he had seen the future (but did not explain then how he did so) and had seen us there. He stated that we were very prominent in society there (I think he said the 21st century). But, he stated, we were a poison to society, having not actually done anything for our selves except promote our own power. He said we gained fame solely by being famous, whatever that actually means. He told us that he could send us back to where we came, but we would have to do one more thing for him. "The Doctor" (no way that's a real name!) said that we needed to go back home, to Europe. He said that every good journey needed a stunning conclusion, and he wanted to see that happen. He said that we needed to go meet him in the German city of Lübeck. We had heard through the grapevine that Lübeck had become a hub of commerce for the Hanseatic League, which was a trade network and alliance throughout feudal Europe. I still shudder of the thought of having to answer to a single Lord and work for his Manor. I don't know much about it, but it seems like it would leave people susceptible to revolts. Anyway, Kylan and I decided to do it so that we could go back home. Okay, here is Kylan to finish things up for us.

When Keiko and I decided to go to Lübeck, we had only heard whispers of a terrible plague that was slicing across Europe, but when we actually started to move through Europe, we realized the extent of this Black Death, as we decided to call it. People all around us as we traveled were suffering from these awful conditions. I mean, HUGE buboes that spewed yellow puss and sickly blood were all over these peoples' bodies. Additionally, some people were having difficulty walking, breathing, and just doing all sorts of basic tasks. The worst part was the fact that Keiko and I could not get sick like when plague struck before, so we could only try to comfort and console the ill, knowing full well that the chances of a recovery and subsequent survival were quite low. I think this was "The Doctor"'s intention, you know? He wanted us to have to endure all of this physical and emotional pain on the way to finding out who we really were so that the message would stick and so that we would not forget anything that had happened after all of these years. I promise, we most certainly did not. Eventually, we did arrive in Lübeck, and we promptly met with "The Doctor" in another boxy sort of room that looked very similar to the room in which we had met while in Baghdad. "The Doctor" warned us of the consequences of going back to our old lives, that we would remember everything that had happened, and as a result we would be quite different that the people with whom we associated in the 21st century. Keiko and I agreed that we wanted to go back, and "The Doctor" nodded.

"When I say your names, you will remember everything that happened. Memories are funny," he remarked, "We feel like they are a compilation of everything that has happened to us, but from a nonlinear perspective, it is quite possible for there to be memories of days that you haven't yet experienced or to remember aspects of life as if you were there, even if you were not. Additionally, you will fall unconscious after I state your names so that I can transport you both forward in time. Are you ready?" He asked this with a sort of game-show host voice. Keiko and I both eagerly nodded.




"Okay, here I go. You two are known, respectively from Kylan to Keiko, as Kim and Khloé Kardashian. Do some good for the world, girls." He said with finality. And fall asleep we most certainly did. Do good for the world? Well, that's an interpretation up to history.